Starving for days. Enjoying the hunger and all of the pain it brings, knowing you deserve it. You deserve to suffer.
But the thought of food creeps back into your mind time and time again. You fight this internal battle with yourself, debating whether or not to eat. Eventually you give in.
Consuming anything and everything in sight. You don't even realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Thats when you regret it all.
All of the hard work gone in just a matter of seconds. Based on a stupid decision in a moment of weakness. The voice in your head makes sure you’ll fix it.
Crying on the bathroom floor, sobbing into your hands, you take your chance. Moving towards the toilet, you stick your fingers to the back of your throat. And you watch it all come up. Almost as if it’s undoing the wrong you caused.
But you know it’s not that simple. You drill yourself into thinking that you will work this off. That tomorrow will be better. Each new day is a new chance to start over. But a small part of you still knows that much more needs to be done in order to fix this. To fix you.
Just because you made a mistake today doesnt mean you will tomorrow, right? Wrong. Because everyday is the same thing. You always give in because you are weak. You are useless. You are nothing. That little voice continues to tell you until you believe it.
Soon you realize what’s happening to you, but it’s too late to turn back. Anyway, that will only prove that you’re weak. You’re slowly killing yourself, and you think nobody notices. But they do. And when they try to help you you only push them farther.
They day comes where you can’t take it anymore. The voices never stop. You try to find an escape from yourself. From your torturous thoughts. And the only way out is death. You say farewell to the voice that has caused you so much pain, and as you black out, you are greeted by the cold hands of death.
